I didn’t write this, but I’d like to share it:

“Self Esteem and How to be Happy with Yourself ” by Karl Perera

Are you happy with yourself – with who you are and what you are doing? If you want high self esteem this is very important. Here’s what you need to be happy with yourself:

a) Don’t compete with others. Life is not a race. Set your own standards and try to reach them, don’t be scared to fail and accept your own limitations. Competing with others will drain you and will take away your self esteem because there will always be someone better than you. Decide on your path and stick to it.

b) Understand yourself. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Use your skills and do your best. You will find satisfaction when you are doing what you are good at and when you accept your weaknesses. Chances are you will also be more successful this way. Try to improve yourself but don’t waste effort and time on those things which are not for you. Accept your best as good enough.

c) Focus on your achievements no matter how small. Try to achieve more but don’t tire yourself out on things which don’t truly matter to you. Focus on what is really important for you. When you know what you want to achieve then set goals (small steps) and reward yourself when you achieve each step. Nobody gets there in one giant leap it takes time and effort to achieve anything worth while.

d) Always try your best and you will be happy with yourself.

e) Be happy with your life as it is! Look for the things that are right and take satisfaction in those. Be thankful for all the good things you have been given. Try to improve your life yes but be realistic about where you are and where you want to go.

f) You can’t do it all. Don’t try to. The best you can do is to use your skills and abilities as best you can and trust that everything will work out. Life is short and we have to choose what we can achieve and how we want to live. Choose wisely but have faith in others and in anything you believe in.

g) If you have faith use it. Faith in God is very helpful to many of us. The Holy Spirit teaches us our importance as people but also reminds us we need help from above to achieve anything real. Always hold on to your beliefs and values and don’t betray them or you will hurt inside.

h) Finally enjoy your life for the gift it is. Experience and give love. Don’t drive yourself so hard you no longer enjoy life or see the goal you set yourself. First think about your health and allow yourself time to reflect and quieten down each day.

I hope you enjoyed this brief article – Karl Perera

Thanks for reading.

Kind regards,

Lisa Fair

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Hi Everybody!  This is to admit I didn’t know I was getting all these wonderful comments on my blog – so I want to thank you all very much!!  I’m a little shocked!  I am still new to blogging and how it works.  I know how to write on my blog (uh, I think) but am still learning to check for comments, etc.  So please forgive me for my naivete. (I thought I was the only one that would ever read my stuff!)

Recently I’ve been busy with LIFE, and my eBay business.  Coming off a vacation (last one around 10 years ago), I’m ready to jump back in here and continue writing my informational product:  The Complete Auction Success System – eBay for beginner’s but valuable resources for the advanced eBay seller, as well as continue with my internet marketing course, which I highly recommend, John Thornhill’s Masterclass.  It’s this class that started me blogging and writing my own product.  I’m slow and I have ADD (and I struggle everyday with trying to be consistent) but that seems to be okay as I can do this class on my own time frame, schedule and pace.  That’s a relief for me, because I always had difficulty in school due to my terrible auditory discrimination.  Still to this day, I always miss the first part of a story when someone is speaking.  My sweet boyfriend is a therapist and is used to it (his youngest son has ADD), so he never minds repeating himself. It was such a relief to find out I wasn’t dumb, I just had ADD!  : )

Anyway, as you can see, I’m all over the place with this blog post (as a symptom of my ADD)!  Mainly I’m writing to THANK everyone for their comments and to put into writing that I am continuing with my Masterclass and my eBay business (gearing up for the holidays) – to hold myself accountable!  I promise to write more often, I will build that into my week.  Future subjects will be:  ADD – some symptoms and what’s helped me, my a-ha moments from Alanon, and who knows what else : )

Thank you genuinely,

Lisa – the ADD blogger!

p.s.  My subject lines are usually intentionally goofy, so thanks for bearing with me….”Gee, thanks!”

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Hello!  My informational product, The Complete Auction Success System, (which I call CASS for short) is moving right along.  It’s primarily for the beginner, helping them to get started selling on eBay.  I just completed the Introduction, eBay’s history, the Overview, Getting Started, the Seller’s Checklist, Registering for eBay and Pay Pal, and Research.  I thought better of it, and removed the Intro. and eBay’s history in an effort to streamline.

There’s no way around it, eBay is labor intensive and there’s a lot to the whole process.  Having said that however, keeping the new eBay seller in mind, it will be detailed yet broken down into manageable sections, to avoid overwhelm.  As someone with ADD, I find it important to keep the student interested and focused and will keep that in mind throughout my writing as well.  In other words, I want my purchaser to get their money’s worth but not feel encumbered!

On another note, I want to thank my fellow Masterclass students (of John Thornhill’s) for the gracious and constructive help I’ve received and I highly recommend signing up for this internet marketing class when it’s available again.  The support at the top and from my classmates has been first-rate.

With much gratitude,

Lisa Fair

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Just stopping by with a brief hello…hello!  I’m busy writing my new info. product called, “The Complete Auction Success System – Everthing a New Seller Needs to Know for Making Maximum Money on eBay.”  It’s very complete and detailed, which is why it’s taking me so long to write it.  That, and running my eBay business at the same time!  Thank you for your patience during this time!  Have a great day unless you made other plans.

Kindly yours,

Lisa

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If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard the saying, “Don’t be so hard on yourself”, I’d be a zillionaire. But only recently did I really understand what it meant. I never got it until I saw the affects of being hard on myself. The negative results around me were glaringly apparent. I mean, I’ve known it intellectually forever, but only recently did I truly experience it.

When I’m hard on myself, I’m hard on those around me. When I’m hyper-critical of myself, I’m critical of those around me. When I’m impatient with myself, I’m impatient with those around me. You can insert any judgment of your choice and that’s how you will see others. It can’t work any other way. What you see within is what you see without. Indeed, your view of yourself, which comes from you is the only view you have; it’s your view of the world and those in it. Why not make it a good view? A view that works for you and not against you.

Have you ever noticed when you’re in a good mood, that you get better customer service? And that the reverse is true too? It really is a great thing to love yourself, be kind to yourself, be compassionate with yourself, and be forgiving of yourself,  for as I see myself, I will see you.

For years I didn’t like myself and I kept getting reinforcements from those around me, which kept me in that pessimistic cycle. I’m happy to say that I’m making positive changes everyday, having this “new” information. It’s not easy to change your old, negative inner recording, but it can be done. Being patient with yourself, taking it one day at a time, avoiding people that don’t have your best interests, reading supportive material, listening to confidence-building audio, personal growth seminars, volunteering and anything else that helps you like you, will make all the difference in your world. You are the first recipient of your thoughts, make them good ones.

With kindness and love,

Lisa

…………
All purchases through this Amazon link go to supporting this blog – many thanks!

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You need to hear the truth about yourself as often as possible.  And definitely not what the television commercials tell you.  Left to the media we need a myriad of products from granite kitchen countertops to famous designer dog shampoo, and everything in between to look good, smell good and be better than the next guy. Better than who? Who is this next guy anyway? Corporate America makes big bank on this set-up and would have us perpetually keeping up with the Jones’. But we’re smarter than that, right? Right! Good answer!

What I mean is the true truth.  The truth that you deserve your best dreams and the truth that you are fully capable of making them come true.  The truth that you are inherently good. The truth that you are still as your Higher Power created you. Whatever mistakes you made, the truth about you is unchanged. You are and will forever be exactly as you were created. I am not referring to religion here, the truth of your being is not an exclusive commodity owned by the world’s religions, nor is your Creator. Light and joy and peace abide in you because your Higher Power put them there. So put away your foolish self-images that you somehow don’t quite measure up. Do you really need the latest, coolest, brand newest shiny thing to be important, happy, fulfilled or loved? Do not seek where it is not, side with the truth in you and let the false fall away. Learn to lay all your fear aside and recognize yourself complete being created by your Higher Power who knows nothing else. It is truly arrogant to think yourself less than what your Creator made.  Forgive all thoughts which would oppose the truth of your completion, unity and peace. The truth about you is that you were created perfect, you just forgot for a little while. The world needs you.

Trust the Process,

Lisa Fair

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Please note, I (Lisa Fair) did not write these or the paragraphs following, but do agree with them. They are the results of following the 12 steps in Al-Anon, and I simply wanted to share them:

If we willingly surrender ourselves to the spiritual discipline of the Twelve Steps, our lives will be transformed.

1.  We will become mature, responsible individuals with a great capacity for joy, fulfillment, and wonder.

2.  Thought we may never be perfect, continued spiritual progress will reveal to us our enormous potential.

3.  We will discover that we are both worthy of love and loving.

4.  We will love others without losing ourselves and will learn to accept love in return.

5.  Our sight, once clouded and confused, will clear and we will be able to perceive reality and recognize truth.

6.  Courage and fellowship will replace fear.

7.  We will be able to risk failure to develop new, hidden talents.

8.  Our lives, no matter how battered and degraded, will yield hope to share with others.

9.  We will begin to feel and will come to know the vastness of our emotions but will not be slaves to them.

10.  Our secrets will no longer bind us in shame.

11.  As we gain the ability to forgive ourselves, our families and the world, our choices will expand.

12.  With dignity, we will stand for ourselves but not against our fellows.

13.  Serenity and peace will have meaning for us as we allow our lives and the lives of those we love to flow day by day with God’s ease, balance, and grace.

14.  No longer terrified, we will discover we are free to delight in life’s paradox, mystery, and awe.

15.  We will laugh more.

16.  Fear will be replaced by faith, and gratitude will come naturally as we realize that our Higher Power is doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves.

Can we really grow to such proportions?  Only if we accept life as a continuing process of maturation and evolution towards wholeness.  The we suddenly begin to notice these gifts appearing.  We see them in those who walk beside us.  Sometimes slowly or haltingly, occasionally in great bursts of brilliance, those who work the Steps change and grow toward light, toward health and toward their Higher Power.  Watching others, we realize this is also possible for us.

Will we ever arrive?  Feel joyful all the time?  Have no cruelty, tragedy, or injustice to face?  Probably not, but we will acquire growing acceptance of our human fallibility, as well as greater love and tolerance for each other.  Self-pity, resentment, martyrdom, rage, and depression will fade into memory.  Community rather than loneliness will define our lives.  We will know that we belong, we are welcome, we have something to contribute, and that this enough.

Trust the process.

Lisa Fair

I recommend the following books, which have helped me so much in my journey:

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Join us for the 2010 35th Indiana AFG – Al-Anon Family Groups Convention April 23-25, 2010.  This year’s convention will be held at The Radisson Hotel at Star Plaza in Merrillville, Indiana.  Our theme is “Choices – The Joy of the Journey” and the speakers are Beverly B. from Dallas TX (Al-Anon), Karen C. from South Bend IN (Al-Anon), Mike B. from Fenton MI (Al-Anon), Roger K. from Columbus OH (Al-Anon), Kara F. from Carmel IN (Alateen), and Hank W. from Columbus OH (AA).  Workshops to include:  Acceptance vs. Denial, Let Go & Let God, Relationships and Spirituality, Listen and Learn and Alateens:  Al-Anon’s Future. Friday registration opens at 3:00 pm, Friday early bird workshop at 4:30 pm, Friday speaker session at 7:30 pm and Saturday registration opens at 8:00 am.  Convention registration is $20, Convention with Banquet is $45 – Alateens attend the convention for free. Alateen Banquet is $25.  You may print the registration flyer here: Indiana Al-Anon To contact the convention chair and co-chair with questions or comments please e-mail  2010ConvChair@indiana-al-anon.org For more information about the Merrillville area go to www.southshorecva.com/Al-Anon.  We hope to see you there, because you’re worth it!

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When confronted with confusion, chaos, a crisis, or stuck at a crossroads, I’ve learned from Al-Anon to do the next right thing.  Right as in ethical, honorable, or upstanding. It’s of my opinion that we know what that is, at least if we’re willing to be still, calm ourselves, and listen to that inner voice or feeling. If we can’t get to that space, reaching out to a gentle friend with a clear head can be a blessing and point us in the right direction. Sometimes a passage in a good book is a huge help, and it’s no coincidence when you open it randomly, that the answer you need is right there. Music and song lyrics can be a wonderful tool to help us get there too. Sometimes walking away or taking a break from our emotional upset will help us figure out what the next right thing is.

There’s so much to be said about doing what’s right or good. We are sending ourselves a message that flows into our subconscious where almost all of our behavioral reactions emanate from.  It’s running us and often we are not consciously aware of it, until we are.  I’m sure not perfect and get it wrong often so I write about what I want to learn myself and I certainly need the practice.

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”   Thomas Jefferson

Also, the universe starts working in our favor, for us, and not against us. Another advantage is health, our physical body actually benefits.  You won’t have immobilizing guilt which reinforces negative self-perception and in turn behavior.  There’s a sense of well-being as well;  we feel good about ourselves and that comes across in our intimate relationships and everyday dealings with others, and others extend that to others, and so on.  Doing the right thing is good for everyone involved.  And integrity is doing the right thing even when no one else will ever know, because you’ll know and that’s enough.

“The time is always right to do what is right.”   Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

This post is dedicated gratefully to Jim Keyes, who has helped me more than I’ll ever be able to put into words.

…………………..

Making a purchase through this Amazon link goes to supporting this website – many thanks!

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I have to disagree with Kermit the Frog.  There are many easy ways to be green, save green $ and have fun at the same time.

Recycle:  Make up a recycling game to get your kids to join in.  Give a prize for the most creative way to recycle.

Repurpose:  the glass jar becomes a vase or water bottle, the seashell becomes a soap dish or paper clip holder, the tin coffee can becomes a drill bit holder, the t-shirt becomes a window cleaner or quilt, the old jeans become a purse or bean bag chair, the 1950′s aprons become a window treatment (my sister did this), and so on.

Reuse:  In high school during the ’80′s, my sister and I loved fashion and having our own style. Shopping in thrift stores, combined with our imagination we came up with some cute, original outfits, and we loved being unique in our small Midwestern town of 15,000 at the time.  I still miss those days, the shopping that is.   My mother’s family started recycling in the 1940′s, except it wasn’t called recycling then.  It was called hand-me-downs.  And with ten kids, there were plenty of those!

My eBay business, www.TheVintageModernHouse.com was founded on reusing.  I started out selling gently used, discontinued dinnerware patterns as replacement pieces, retro furniture from mid-century, and collectibles from when I was a kid in the ’70′s (except we called them toys back then).  I now have a lot more newer items, but I still love “treasure hunting” for inventory with my sister, who sells second-hand baby clothes, toys, and shoes.  Check her out on eBay her user ID is CowgirlKarla -who also loves selling cowboy and cowgirl items.

I saw a cartoon on the side of a recycling truck yesterday. The image was of a boy, a girl and a dog, and read, “Are you paper-trained?” And earlier as I sat here writing this, an old country and western song came on about a man who wished he had a plastic heart so it wouldn’t break.  I don’t think breaking is the worst of his worries. His plastic heart will outlive him by about a thousand years give or take.  Rrrrribit!

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